June 10, 2009

And then we came to the end

As many of you already know, I have decided to go back to school this fall.  I am going to study to be a paralegal.  The program should take about a year or so, and when I'm done, hopefully I will find myself with a new job in a new field.

I havent had much to say about HR in the past few months.  Looking for a job in HR for a year and a half can really put one off the subject.  Sorry about that.  At the same time, Im not sorry - after eight years I feel more than ready to move on.

Im excited about school and finally having some direction after long, directionless and angst filled wandering.

I'm going to leave the HR Wench blog up.  Amazingly enough, it still gets traffic.  And it is a testament to a part of my life that contained many lessons learned, new friends gained and all that jazz.  Who knows, maybe I will start a blog about being in paralegal school...or being a newbie paralegal.  Until then, you can find me on Twitter under my new user ID @jennbarnes77.

Since I am a sucker for poetry, and William Stafford poetry in particular, I will leave you some of his words:

You Reading This, Be Ready

Starting here, what do you want to remember?
How sunlight creeps along a shining floor?
What scent of old wood hovers, what softened
sound from outside fills the air?

Will you ever bring a better gift for the world
than the breathing respect that you carry
wherever you go right now?  Are you waiting
for time to show you some better thoughts?

When you turn around, starting here, lift this
new glimpse that you found; carry into evening
all that you want from this day.  This interval you spent
reading or hearing this, keep it for life -

What can anyone give you greater than now,
starting here, right in this room, when you turn around?

April 17, 2009

Put your picture on your resume

But only if you look like this guy:

April 12, 2009

Benefits are kind of scary

Many of you know that I passed my second CEBS exam a few weeks ago. 

I am so relieved I passed, as the second course made the first one look like a cake walk.  Here is what we covered in a mere 12 weeks, no joke:

Individual and group life insurance
Disability management
Vacations and other time-off benefits
Dependent care and work-life benefits
Flexible benefits I
Flexible benefits II
Plan administration, technology and communication
Taxation of group plan benefits
Workers' compensation
Social insurance concepts
Health benefits for retireees
Long-term care insurance

One of the things I'm learning through the CEBS program is that benefits can be scary and weird, even to people who know what they are talking about.  Keeping up with benefit laws, tax laws, technology and your industry's competition is not for the faint of heart.  It's complicated.

Here are some things I learned in my second course:

  • Most people don't have enough life insurance. Calculating how much life insurance you need and what type of product you should buy is confusing.
  • Economic changes in the work environment of white collar employees increases short and long term disability claims.  (And, in my experience, workers comp claims as well).
  • The IRS has its fingers in EVERYTHING.
  • Employers use a "credit system" in cafeteria plans instead of actual dollar values to "smooth out benefit inequities" and hide true costs from employees.  Also, this makes it possible for employers to offer a "cash out option" that is not a dollar-for-dollar value.
  • Under Medicare Part D (in 2008), if your prescription costs are between $2,510 and $5,726 per year, none of it is covered.
  • Long Term Care Insurance is necessary because while modern medicine can usually prevent death, it can't always restore health.  For the elderly, a life saving medical treatment is often the beginning of several months (or even years) of custodial care.
Well, I'm off to my third course: Retirement Plan Design (yay?).

April 7, 2009

Channeling Lady Gaga at work

Like many street corners in America, one in my neighborhood is occupied by someone paid to hold a sign. 

I generally don't like sign-holders or the companies that employ them.  They are purposely trying to distract drivers, which is not a good idea in my book.

However, one sign holder has gotten my attention.  She wears headphones and dances throughout her entire shift. 

  • I drive to the gym, she's there dancing.  
  • I drive home from the gym, she's there dancing.  
  • I drive to the grocery store - yep, still there, still dancing.
I don't think the dancing is part of the job description.  He coworkers don't dance on their shifts, and they aren't nearly as interesting to watch.

This woman probably makes minimum wage (part time, at that) and has to stand in hot sun, cold rain, annoying wind and inhale car exhaust.  But there she is - dancing.

Holy smokes, you guys.  I think this lady is onto something.

March 9, 2009

This job is kind of like not having a job

Having a job in this economy is not always what it's cracked up to be, yo.  Take a gander at the latest Ask HR Wench:

In January my brother's job was out-sourced.  He managed to stay employed at the same company by taking on a different role (part-time, at an hourly rate roughly half of what he had been making).

He was classified as an independent contractor the first two months he was employed with this company, from Feb - Apr, 2008. After that, he was hired as an exempt employee. He has received his W2 for the time he was an employee, but not his 1099 for the time he was a contractor, which means he has yet to file his 2008 tax return.

As of January, my brother has again been classified as an independent contractor. He was supposed to get paid on the first of this month but has yet to see a payment (and has not seen payment for February, either).

I don't know that he is being classified correctly and neither does he. He works from home, on his own schedule, but that's about all that matches the list of qualifiers from the IRS.

I know I'm showing my ignorance and I can take a virtual eye roll, but my brother and his wife needed his income and still do. He needs to get paid. He needs supplemental UI and isn't sure how to classify himself and I am having a hard time making sense of it. He needs to file his taxes. This whole thing seems shady to me.

For what it's worth, I've read the IRS and CA EDD website and I found this on the California Department of Industrial Relations website: http://www.dir.ca.gov/dlse/faq_independentcontractor.htm

This sentence in the opening really is what makes me wonder if he's even classified correctly:

"Since different laws may be involved in a particular situation such as a termination of employment, it is possible that the same individual may be considered an employee for purposes of one law and an independent contractor under another law."

I have already advised him that his first order of business on is to call his employer/client and ask for his 1099 and payment. If that fails I have advised him to call the IRS for his 1099 and then the CA DIR to get their take on his classification.

Thank you for your time and any help you can offer. I do appreciate the help!
This is what happens when companies begin to hemorrhage: outsourcing, lay offs, mis-classification of employees, slow paying bills, mass disorganization, disappearing paperwork, et al.

Short answer: Tell him get the hell out of there, now.  Guess what comes after slow pay?  Paying $0.10 on the dollar.  Happened to an HR consultant I know.

Long answer: I have no idea if he is classified correctly.  It sounds like he's not.  I think you have given him good advice so far; the only other thing I would add is for him to discuss his situation with a tax professional. 

I know a little birdy who was taken advantage of in an employee-to-independent-contractor situation who didn't believe he was slowly sinking into debt to the advantage of his "employer/client".  It took a serious smacking around from a tax professional to get it through his head that he was screwing himself six ways from Sunday by continuing that work relationship.  She was able to lay things out so they made sense to a layperson (whereas I mostly just screeched, "JUST DO WHAT I TELL YOU!!").

Best of luck.

March 3, 2009

Laurie Ruettimann, sexual harassment and the apocalypse

Laurie Ruettimann ushered in the apocalypse earlier this week by posting an article about sexual harassment on AOL owned Lemondrop.

You and I both know that

  • Laurie is awesome
  • Laurie doesn't need me to defend her
For the record:  I think she's dead on. 

I also think if people calmed down a little bit, read the entire article, and thought about the core message for a minute or two, they would get that what she is saying makes some serious sense:
  • You are responsible for your career.
  • There is no bigger employee advocate than you. Protect your own interests and act accordingly.
And that, my friends, is that.

February 26, 2009

Must get away from evil boss

Reader question time again:

After being laid off of a contract position, I was lucky enough to land a full-time job immediately.  This job is in my field and is what I thought I wanted to do, but it isn't working out.

The problem is my boss (the owner of the company). He is rude, unprofessional, and has extremely unrealistic expectations. He regularly implies that we are unintelligent and lazy.  He expects us to work early mornings, evenings, weekends, and lunch breaks (we are exempt) and tells us that if we start meeting his requirements, maybe we can "only work 40 hour weeks".  We haven't received any training and are all entry level workers.  We are expected not to have outside commitments, and when we do, he tells us to go late and tell the person we have an appointment with that work is more important. 

Let me be straight with you here: I am a hard worker, and I am an adult, so I know sometimes long hours may be required. However, I also know poor management, and this is it. We are not given the tools to succeed and then we are berated for failing.  He asks for one thing and we do it, then he tells us, "You should have known I wanted THIS instead," when there truly was no indication (and again, I am smart and can figure things out if they are reasonable).

Recently, I was all but told to shut up during a meeting, and I have seen him do this and worse to others.  It's an unhealthy, stressful environment with a management style that DOES NOT work for me, and I am trying to find other employment.

My question, then, is how bad is it going to look to have left a job after a few months? Best case scenario is I get a job ASAP, meaning I'll have worked here 3 months. Even if it's six months or eight months (I hope not), I feel like it looks bad, especially since my previous job was a short-term contract. I am not sure what to tell prospective employers. I have no desire to trash talk my current boss and I know that would look bad, but I am also not "seeking a new challenge" or "trying to move up" either. I could say I'm concerned my position will be eliminated due to the economy - which is a legitimate concern - but beyond that, I'm not sure how to make quitting a short-term job look like anything other than job-hopping or trash-talking.
Recruiters and hiring managers are just people.  They are not perfect and most of them have either worked for a-holes or found themselves in a job that was not a good fit for them, for whatever reason.  It happens to the best of us, sometimes more than once.

Most likely, you are not going to find a *good* job right away.  I could certainly be wrong, and I hope I am.  However, I've looked at a gazillion resumes in my time and here is how my inner monologue goes when I see a resume like yours, "Wait, she just got there...is it a contract?  No, can't be a contract because her job before this one states that one was a contract so it looks like she is specifying which is which.  Hmm guess she is hating the new job.  NEXT". 

I don't want a rebound relationship.  I don't want you to want my company and my position just because the one you're in right now sucks basketballs.  See what I mean?

The worst thing to do when you're in a bad situation is panic.  Do not jump ship without another job under your belt.  Trust me on this.  I am saving you thousands of dollars in therapy right now.

Let's say you get past the resume screen and a recruiter or hiring manager calls you up.  If they ask why you're looking (and they should), just tell them the truth: You thought the position was going to be one thing and, unfortunately, it turned out to be another.  

If you are pressed for details (and you should be), you will have to be more stealthy.  Be sincere, not sarcastic.  Be professional and not overly familiar, as you would be with your friends.  Be matter of fact but not icy or fake.  "The job was presented as having occasional overtime, good work life balance, etc etc.........unfortunately I've worked 60 hour weeks since I started, am told to not eat lunch, etc etc and I'm not productive in that type of environment."

This is all true, but sounds better than, "My boss is a piece of shit and I want to scratch his face off".  The recruiter will know you're telling the truth and respect you for it (as well as for being professional about it).  Depending on what the competition looks like, it may or may not do you any favors....but at least you are telling the truth and dealing with the situation professionally.

That's all I've got for this one.  Readers - hit the comments with your suggestions.

February 21, 2009

Fear and loathing, pretty much everywhere

Yes, the economy sucks. 

Besides that, what is the deal with everyone I know having anxiety issues?  I was emailing a friend just now and realized even the most well-adjusted, stable, happy friend I have has at least minor to medium sized Anxiety Issues.

Why?

Do we lack coping skills?  Do we just have too much sugar, salt, caffeine, booze, et al in our systems?  Are we over or under medicated?  Are the bovine hormones we ingest via our steaks effing with our human hormones to create a vicious cocktail?  Are we pissing away all of our serotonin?

Dudes, I don't even pretend to know the answer.

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