Ask HR Wench
A reader needs help:
* Manager ("M1") is having a consensual romantic relationship with Admin ("A1"). A1 reports directly to M1 and this type of Manager/Subordinate fraternization is strongly discouraged at this company.
* M1 and A1 voluntarily disclose the relationship to management and request that A1 be transferred in order to be in compliance with the ethics policy, to avoid the appearance of favoritism, to avoid potential conflicts of interest, to minimize workplace interruptions ... etc.
* Management and HR think that a transfer is a great idea, M1 thinks it is a great idea, A1 thinks it is a great idea ... everyone agrees that a transfer is a peachy-keen swell idea.
Question: Where to transfer A1?
Options:
1) A demotion to an outside, labor-intensive position. (Cons - This has all sorts of liability and problems that really make it a non-option, but we'll put it out there for discussion sake).
2) A lateral move. (Cons - No current openings).
3) Create a position. (Cons - Budget is tight and no one wants to create unnecessary positions).
4) Leave her where she's at. (Cons - Rumors are already swelling and spreading. A1 and M1 are growing more uncomfortable with the office environment and their jobs require them to interact frequently. Pay increases are TBD next month. Their relationship is new and tenuous.)
5) Transfer M1, instead of A1, to another Department. The cons of this are the same as those listed in A, B and C. In addition he runs a rather large department where a change in leadership right now could have serious financial ramifications.
6) ... Something we haven't considered? ...
What's the right course of action? What's the most ethical and fair?
I assume there is no written policy on this as you say "strongly discouraged" instead of "prohibited". So, basically, no rule has been broken but you still have a problem.
I'm very curious as to why option A would be such a liability. If it is documented properly it seems like the company would be (mostly) in the clear. Of course "in the clear" doesn't necessarily mean the behavior of the employees will be good in the future (i.e. "I only took this transfer because HE told me if I didn't they would fire ME not him...").
Ugh. What a nightmare. Personally, I think the fairest thing is for one of them to find another job at another company. They created the problem and they should fix it. Of course then you risk losing both or getting sued for even suggesting it be one over the other, etc. There is just no end to the poopyness of this debacle!
Readers - what say you?
11 comments:
I think it's funny when people think it's the company's job to manage their relationship.
I would continue to allow them to retain their positions but make the Admin supervised by someone else (even if she's still doing the work for the Manager).
I would also let them know that if it interferes with their work performance, they will not get special treatment. They will be disciplined as any other employee would be.
Agree w/Rachel. A company's job is to carry on: lovers have to manage themselves, and maybe not watch quite so many romantic American movies.
This is hard to judge because it is messy and there are particulars about their company (size, type of business, culture, etc.) that need to be taken into account. So I will say these two things.
1. These employees have become high-maintenance and no matter how well this relationship works, it is an open door invitation to a sexual harassment situation. HR needs to be proactive and believe this is highly probable.
2. Consider as an option, letting both of them go. Again this depends on many things within the organization (precedents, rules, etc.)
Very interesting debate. Your timing is impeccable -- seems to be a ton of attention to similar topics all of a sudden. (In fact, I just got a call yesterday from Newsweek looking for info on the whole topic of workplace romance and "love contracts").
Rachel's solution makes sense to me. Here's a link to a similar discussion on my blog awhile back that might be somewhat helpful: http://manpowerblogs.com/toth/2008/02/20/love-contracts-poll-results/
Great blog, Ms. Wench -- it's always a gas reading your thoughts and then the interplay among your readers!
I say that this is why I quit HR to have only one screaming, crabby, drooling "employee". (No, she doesn't drool - even with getting her 1st tooth!).
I just found out that two of the former employees from my former employment got married - the QA manager and a production worker. He was let go for performance (with an unspoken suspicion of a drinking problem) and she was let go or quit due to behavior problems. I've never seen such manipulation as she displayed, but it was a department of mostly women.
I didn't think the relationship would get to this point, but I also don't think the marriage will last. (3rd for her, 2nd for him)
Oftentimes in these situations, there are no real winners, and the company is among the losers.
Thanks everyone! Lots of good suggestions here. I have to say, if I were the Admin and I was really serious about the relationship I would really focus on finding another job at another company. I don't like the idea of working with my significant other. If I were the manager/exec...well, scratch that as I never would be! :)
One thing that has not been mentioned here is the interference from an outsider to the relationship. In other words, another female employee who feels she is being denied opportunities as a result of NOT having a relationship with the male manager. Thus we have a potential "hostile environment" claim from someone not at all involved in the relationship. Thus, HR does need to monitor the relationship very closely and rapidly address any complaints anyone else may have.
One thing that has not been mentioned here is the interference from an outsider to the relationship. In other words, another female employee who feels she is being denied opportunities as a result of NOT having a relationship with the male manager. Thus we have a potential "hostile environment" claim from someone not at all involved in the relationship. Thus, HR does need to monitor the relationship very closely and rapidly address any complaints anyone else may have.
I completely agree.
I met my husband when I hired him to work for me in retail. I supervised him for 2 years before we got to know each other personally and began dating. Long story short, separating us into 2 stores within the same mall (same parent company) was not enough - he ended up transferring to another mall altogether. This all happened right when the company came out with its "code of conduct" which of course we dissected word by word trying to figure out not "if" but "when" it would be appropriate to let our manager know what was going on. We knew we'd have to come clean - but if it was going to be a week-long thing we didn't see the point in stirring things up. At any rate, I thought management handled it well - they valued us both as employees and didn't want to lose either of us, so they found a solution that worked and kept us both in the company.
Wench –
Great discussion, as usual!
It seems like most of the suggestions involve doing something with the admin. I’m thinking the manager guilty of poor judgment and leadership. I’ve heard it said that “you can’t help who you fall in love with”. I say b.s. to that (but I’m somewhat of a COB). DON’T fall in love with your employees. Ever. Don’t even think of it. Especially if either of you are married. I hate to sound self-righteous on this, but is it any different than a teacher hitting on a student?
Since it's between consenting adults, I would say it's more like a gynecologist and his patient going for a bite to eat after an op.
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